*Dedicated to moms, especially mine

After an hour entrenched in research at a local bookstore, I noticed the woman seated next to me. Equally entrenched in her reading, her eyes moved intently, drinking in the pages as well as the last sips of her iced coffee. She smiled, squinted, and laughed in reaction to the characters and stories she had found.

In addition to holding open her book, she also held a bottle to her baby’s mouth and fed him. When he had finished, she gently pulled him from his stroller, held him close, and burped him, one hand keeping her book open as she read.

I watched from my table, close enough to reach out and hold her book open for her, and got tears in my eyes. You see, since getting married, I’ve received the following wisdom words about parenthood:

After kids, you have no life.

Cram everything in that you can now because you’ll never ever get to do anything you want to do ever again.

Then, in the wake of these Dooms Day-esque prophecies, this woman sits next to me. This mom, reading contentedly, in public, enjoying the gurgles and googles of her baby and relishing a good book. And I wondered:

Could it be that sometimes parents, especially 21st century parents, pressure themselves to be too much and do too much for their children, and, as a result, martyr themselves, surrendering a life they were never asked to give up?

I don’t know. I won’t understand until I have kids, so I’ve been told. But I do know the victimized, weary glaze in the eyes of so many parents around me. And, as I watch them, I can’t help contemplating what kind of parent I want to be. I can’t help asking these questions.

Whether or not my untested observation stands, I hope you’ll find me at a bookstore someday, rocking my baby and holding open the pages of some good book.

Posted under life stuff  |    8 Comments