Archive for January, 2009
hey jude: a letter from your momma
[click the picture to see Jude's first video]
Well, Jude, I suppose you’re not surprised. But your momma certainly is. Surprised and filled with unspeakable joy. She thought the little life inside was for sure a girl, but when you uncrossed those growing legs at the ultrasound appointment today, you let us in on your secret.
Oh my God, a boy! was all I could say as the technician typed, “BOY” in all caps across the screen. And your daddy was speechless. We cried and laughed and cried and laughed some more while we held hands and learned about your spine, your kidneys, your heart, your feet, your face. That sweet face. From the grainy images on the screen it looks like you have your momma’s nose and your daddy’s mouth.
I went right out and bought you a book today, a real boy book. You already have so many books from all of us here waiting for you. (We think you might love to read like momma and daddy.) But none of those books were just for a boy, so I took care of that. I can’t wait to hold you in my lap and read you to sleep. And read you to dream-worlds and fantasy-lands only a boy with your imagination could create.
I have talked to God about you, talked all about you so many mornings, afternoons, evenings and in the deep mid-nights when sleep wouldn’t have me. I loved you before I even knew you existed. And now, as you are daily shaped into the boy who is my son, I pray this blessing over you:
Jude Adam
May you know courage and tenderness, strength and compassion.
May you worship God from dust to dust, all your days.
May you receive the life-giving inheritance of grace that is yours because you are huios, a son and an heir.
May you always know your name, Child; the name given you by the One who has forever known you.And “may mercy and peace and love be multiplied to you…and may you keep yourself in the love of God, ready and waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. May you have mercy on some who are doubting; and save others, snatching them out of the fire…” (Jude 2, 21-23)
You are a treasured gift, Jude Adam. You are a blessed son.
10 Commentsflutters
They said it would feel like gas, I thought as I touched my lower abdomen and the little bump where my baby lives for now. I waited a few seconds.
This feels kinda different. Like butterflies.
I waited a few more seconds. The flutter came again. And no flatulence.
It’s the baby! It’s the baby!
I looked at my watch. 11:15 a.m. I jotted the date and time in my sermon notes, sitting still in the pew as I wiped away happy tears. My baby, my sweet little punkin’ pie, was saying hi. Or dancing. Or hiccuping as it practiced swallowing. Whatever the child was doing, he or she was making momma very happy.
As we sang a hymn and the flutters subsided, I thought about how happy I was just at the slightest evidence of my growing baby. He or she hasn’t done anything to earn my love. This child hasn’t performed, perfected, or accomplished anything. And yet I continue to be filled with insane joy just at this baby’s very existence. I couldn’t even help being a bit of a proud momma as my baby expertly flipped and flitted around in a sea of amniotic fluid.
This is the most brilliant fetus ever, I thought as we sat down and prepared for communion.
I think this is some hint of how God feels about us; His kids, His creation, imago Dei. Filled with insane joy at our very existence. Even a bit proud of the majesty He’s placed in us. And we don’t even have to do anything, but just be.
5 Commentsswerving
I was just sitting here watching Field of Dreams, thinking about crazy people doing even crazier things. And I couldn’t help thinking about Jason’s and my own crazy dream, SWERVE Press. We started SWERVE exactly a year ago. And in a few hours, we’re launching the site and pre-selling my first book, As Is. Seems surreal.
And it looks illogical, too. From just about every angle. We knew nothing about publishing when we started this venture (except that we liked published things). We have never run a business (except a few lemonade stands a couple decades ago). And we have started this publishing business in the middle of a so-called recession.
Hmmm.
At the same time, this seems like the perfect time for SWERVE to take the stage. Because a little bit of prudent insanity is just what SWERVE is about. So stop by as we open our cyber doors. You’ll find us just off the beaten path.
liturgizing
Photo by jobarracuda at Flickr
Sheez, this is a lot of hard work, I thought after the third or fourth time I’d stood up and sat back down. I grasped the bulletin I’d been handed by a six- or seven-year-old boy a few moments before, reading ahead nervously so I would be sure not to miss another Thanks be to God in the liturgy. I tried to figure out an unfamiliar melody as I mumbled the words of the processional song.
You see, after a few months away from any kind of unified Sunday morning gathering, Jason and I visited a church, a church that lands on a branch of Protestantism neither of us have any experience with. We visited an Episcopal church.
As the service progressed, I found myself wanting to take time to ruminate on all the active-ness of the service and how worn out I felt with the kneeling and the standing and the liturgizing. But the Nicene Creed, in all its truth and beauty, broke through my ragged, self-indulgent introspection.
We believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen…
Maybe it was those faith statements bouncing against the high ceiling and stained glass windows. Or maybe it was the chamber choir in the loft behind us singing, “O taste and see how gracious the Lord is…” Or maybe it was the breaking of the bread, literally broken so I could hear it and see the crumbs spray through the air at the altar as I knelt to receive an unleavened wafer dipped in crimson juice.
Or maybe it was something intangible in the room, dwelling among us, dwelling in us. Whatever it was, I decided that the “work” I had been doing throughout the service – the kneeling, the rising, the common prayers, the congregational readings – was good.
So much of my Sunday morning church-going experience has been about receiving. What can I get out of the music? Do I agree with how the pastor has interpreted the Scriptures? Did the prayers move me? To put it bluntly, my churching has been very Krista-centric. And not very God-centric.
Oh sure, I’ve said I’m going to meet with God, but I’ve only wanted to meet with Him on my terms. As long as His truth, His love, His presence was spoon-fed to me while I kicked back in a comfy pew and consumed.
But today was different. Today I gave something. I was awakened to the giving. By a common word, by an ordering, by a tradition. And in the offering I discovered a lightness, a gladness, a new hope born. An extravagant grace in uniformity. A peace in the practice of worship. A joy in the active involvement that worship requires.
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“I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come out of this. You have never seen any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. And you will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. And you will never see a team play harder than we will the rest of the season…”
~ Florida Gator Quarterback Tim Tebow, after loss to Ole Miss on 9.27.08
Finish well, GATORS!
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