Archive for August 21st, 2009
closer to love

Photo: Melanie McGaughey, The Velvet Trunk
You are all that I’ve waited for
All of my life
You pull me closer to love
Mat Kearney, Closer to Love
Before Jude was born, before we knew anything about his temperament, we had outlined a parenting style we wanted to use. It was a style of parenting that felt right to us, instinctual, a set of principles that spoke to my desire to nurture our first son. So we bought the books that touted this parenting style, read up, and before Jude was even born we began implementing these practices.
But then Jude arrived. The second he came on the scene, our plans went out the window. And a few weeks later, when colic and reflux became a reality, we saw our parenting plans come crashing down even harder.
Now, don’t get me wrong. The practices we’ve applied have in large part actually helped all three of us through the colic and reflux. But as we slowly come out of those dark days, we are finding that Jude has different needs than we anticipated. Different needs than our logical, scientifically based parenting model offers.
So I’m thinking there’s a better model. A non-plan plan. A mystery that is low on checklists and high on intangibles. Because you can have all the knowledge, Paul says, and all the books on parenting, and you can have your checklists. But if you don’t have love, it’s nothing. Sweet Jude is teaching me this. He’s teaching me how to get closer to my husband, closer to him, closer to myself.
He’s teaching me how to get closer to love.
*My precious friend Mel took this picture. Have her take your picture, too.


